"Bacon is the candy of meat."

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Live Long and Prosper, Kid

The Ensign (Event Coordination) and Captain in the Captain's Private Dining Room, Starship Enterprise
Today I am the mother of a teenage boy, an amazing milestone in parenting life and the culmination of this year's exhausting trip through Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year's Eve, and two birthdays. I'm looking forward to a few months of simple home cooking after the whirlwind of parties.

Teen Gateau (as he will henceforth be known, at least for the next 7 years) became a Star Trek fanatic sometime during the last year. This was all my husband's fault doing after introducing the lad to the original series via Netflix. The kid has now devoured every piece of Star Trek media he can get his hands on, and I am reminded of his first love, trains, in the way he can make everything about his fixation. I seem to be immune to Star Trek, though most of my friends adore it, but as with the incessant train talk, it's a mother's joy to participate in whatever her kids love. Or something.

It seemed only right and proper, then, to offer him a Star Trek dinner to celebrate his birthday. We researched menu options, and were grateful for the indispensable Tumblr, Food Replicator, which provided clear recipes and inspiration.

Commemorative Menu

At the appointed hour, I dressed in my most Star Trek-like garb (we went with businesslike crew member, circa TNG, instead of 60s Space Babe) and began to welcome the Captain's friends to a private dinner aboard the Starship Enterprise. The decor was minimalist, with small Starfleet emblems placed on the napkin rings.

Food Synthesizer Cubes
Guests were ushered into the reception area, where they were offered Food Synthesizer Cubes (lime Jello jigglers) with their choice of Klingon Bloodwine (Cran-Grape juice with a little orange concentrate to bloody it up) or Romulan Ale (Jones Mixed Berry soda). This particular delegation put away quite a lot of Romulan Ale over the course of the party.

Bloodwine and Romulan Ale

Dinner was served in the Captain's private dining room. A first course of Vulcan Plomeek Broth (beet and carrot broth with smoked paprika and cider vinegar) went over better than I'd thought it would, given the audience of 12 year-old boys. I was called upon to serve seconds, and have had a request to make it again sometime.

Steaming Plomeek Broth

Following the broth, the main dishes were served: Bajoran Larish Pie (beef and vegetable pie with rosemary and thyme) and the most famous Klingon dish of all, Gagh, a revolting concotion featuring live worms. (Since gagh worms are out of season, I was forced to substitute udon boiled in food coloring to make it an unappetizing gray with a chunky mushroom marinara).

Larish Pie
Gagh, Klingon delicacy

For dessert, the Captain was presented with an Earthly delight -- a chocolate layer cake, custom decorated by his father. We had insufficient candles to represent his venerable age, but he was OK with that.

After the celebration, the Captain and his guests retired to the screening room, for a presentation of Star Trek: Nemesis. More Romulan Ale was on offer along with, of course, Jean-Luc Picard's favorite perfect cup of Earl Grey tea. A dish of Gree Worms disappeared as if, well, three 12 year old boys were watching a movie and eating candy.

Gree Worms

And that was that. The Ensign snuck into the kitchen to replace her boots with fuzzy slippers and start mixing up dough for the Captain's requested cinnamon buns for his breakfast banquet, and at one point removed a small alien life-form with the appearance of a four year-old Earthling from his older brother's party.

It appears that a good time was had by all.

The Captain with his visiting delegation of dignitaries from across the Federation


marjorie said...


Mlle Gateau said...

I live in fear of what Lucas will request. Star Wars bar scene?