Silk Purse of a Sow's Ear, Hors D'oeuvres Division

I was too lazy on Saturday to do my grocery shopping at multiple stores, so I made do with the Stop & Shop. We had friends coming over to dinner on Sunday, and I was doing a simple menu -- marinated London broil (from my recent share of a grass-fed side of beef), roasted asparagus with Parmesan, rosemary roasted potatoes, and salad with olive oil and lemon juice dressing. Young Master Gateau really wanted to make red velvet cake for the guests, so we got the stuff to do that as well (actually, we had to go back to the store again because I'd forgotten buttermilk and white vinegar, and I skipped going yet again after I could not find the cake pans at zero hour, so we made cupcakes instead, and relied on nonstick spray and prayer to ensure they'd come out of the tins, because we also had no paper liners).

So as to have something to soak up the cocktails, I got some mixed olives and plain miniature mozzarella balls from the mediocre appetizing bar. Here is how I turned them into something actually tasty:

I dressed the mozzarella with olive oil and one defrosted garlic-basil cube from my freezer. Added sundried tomatoes and let this sit a bit to mix.

The olives were pretty tasteless until I dressed them with a little olive oil, a teaspoon each of crumbled dried thyme and rosemary, and shredded lemon zest.

And now for the best hors d'oeuvre you can make from the supermarket, straight from my parents' 1970s dinner parties: get a container of the nice, cut-up pineapple chunks (the fresh, not canned). Get a package of decent bacon, such as Boar's Head. Wrap each pineapple chunk in a strip of bacon and secure with a toothpick. Broil these for a few minutes, until the bacon is cooked. Drain. Serve. No matter how foodie your guests, nobody can resist the combination of sweet pineapple and bacon.